Title:Something in the Husband...in Spaaaace!
Characters: Ian and Barbara Chesterton
Something in the Husband...in Spaaace!
“What is it?” asked Barbara. She’d had misgivings about his eating the box of alien Cracker-Jacks he’d had in his pocket back when they’d left the Doctor, though he swore it appeared perfectly normal. Besides, ever since they’d gotten back money had been tight and he was hungry.
“I think I swallowed the surprise toy,” he managed.
“What kind of toy?” she asked with growing concern.
“I don’t know. The other box I ate had a miniature space ship.” He pulled the little thing out of his jacket pocket, then frowned as that one’s tiny lights began to blink.
“Ian, your stomach….”
He looked down with some alarm at the pink light now flashing from underneath his button-up shirt. “Oh no. What now?”
“Button up your coat. We can’t let anyone see that.”
“Barbara, the opinions of the little old ladies in the park are hardly my main concern at the moment.”
Barbara took the other little ship from his hand and examined it. “There must be some way to turn these off.” She flipped it over and started pressing anything that stuck up to see if any of them were buttons.
“I don’t know if pushing buttons on things is a good idea just now…” Ian started to protest. Then he vanished.
“Ian!” Barbara cried. What could she do? A cold wave of panic washed over her as she realized the seemingly boundless resources of the TARDIS they had become so accustomed to were no longer available. Frantic, she punched more buttons on the little thing in her hand, the only possible link to alien technology she still had. It blinked.
Ian reappeared, blue and gasping. Barbara grabbed at him as he keeled over onto the mossy ground. Holding him, she chafed at his hands, the little spaceship bouncing unheeded into the muddy Thames.
“Ian, what happened? Where were you?”
He worked to move his cold lips. “In spaaaace…” he finally managed.
“Well, don’t do that again. You scared me half to death!”
“What? Scared you?”
“I thought I was going to be a widow before I’d barely been a bride.”
He slowly sat up. “All right, next time I’ll take you with me. The view was great.”
“You’ll need a bigger spaceship.”
“True. Oh well. How about a little cottage with a picket fence, then? Mmmf!”
He never did find out what her reply was, though the little old ladies in the park now definitely had some opinions.